Reflections of my world

My week is over.  It’s time to look back and see what I learned.

I had to do a job this week which deep down I really don’t care for.  I was tempted by a student in my class, an adult, to drop my job duties and come to work intoxicated the next day.  It was an appealing proposal but I don’t have the conscience to act on such an impulse.  I would be curious to see how things would turn out but I do not think I could bear the guilt of my decision.  I automatically think of my mother and father, grandparents, and others who have sacrificed much for me to be where I am and I would bring them such shame.

I still yearn to cause chaos without consequence some days.


In my personal time I discovered how awful the effects of being on Cymbalta have been for MANY MANY people.  The website revealed their accounts to me.  After reading only about a dozen of the threads I can say with total resolve that I am glad I am not as messed up as some of those people are.  Deep down I pity every single one of them but I also feel relief in knowing that I am fortunate enough to have escaped the clutches of this SNRI with my health mostly in tact.  I still deal with the residual presence of it in my body and it is unknown how long it will take for my liver to be able to break it all down, but the hard part is over and for that I am thankful.

My cup overflows.


I lost touch with a woman whom I care about very much.  Perhaps it’s just my point of view but I cannot seem to get back on her wavelength and she doesn’t appear to want to get closer to mine either.  I wish for once that she (and every other girl I’ve proposed a relationship to) was more selfless every now and then.  It would be really nice to have her ask “How did your day go?” or “How are you feeling?” first instead of getting to it after I initiate the conversation.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m going about it all wrong by asking first.

I’m frustrated about this but I have no control over what she or any other girl does.  I could rant on and say a bunch of nasty words but I think I’ll just wait and see what happens tomorrow instead.