4-2-13

It’s been two days since Lent concluded.  I have to say I’m missing the sacrifice.  When I removed myself from the distraction that comes with living in the fast paced world of social media, internet, and just general sensory overload I missed it for about a week.  On day eight I started to really focus on what I was saying when I prayed.  I offered intentions for people who needed (and still need) it most.  I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament a few times too.  During all this I can’t say I heard God definitively speak to me but I understood what He was saying.  I know that sentence contradicts itself but if you’ve experienced it for yourself you get what it means.

In addition to this, I felt a connection to the Body of Christ, the Church.  I felt her suffering when Pope Benedict resigned and unspeakable hatred flooded the airwaves.  I felt her joy when a new pope was elected.  I felt the Hand of God comfort the sick and burdened whom I prayed for.

I haven’t particularly felt such a connection within my faith in a number of years and certainly not as an adult.  Denying myself these vices and dedicating time each day to pray intently allowed me to see what really matters in life in a whole new light.  I’ve said before that life is about sharing yourself with others but this Lent showed me that there’s an infinite number of ways to apply that.  Further more, we don’t always have to do something of a corporal nature to share ourselves.

Now that Lent is over I find myself removed from these comforts.  I am tempted to fall back into my old rituals and habits of doing my own will instead of God’s.  Reflecting on this I feel like I have a choice to keep the sacrifice of Lent going and I want to because I know that deciding to fulfill my own will always leads me to the same place.  A place that cannot fulfill my own or anyone else’s desire to know Truth.

I hope…no I pray I choose not to be selfish.