Another day passes but not without struggle. It has been one of those days where I feel I would rather have my life be over. I was attacked all day long by difficulty and strife in my work. I could seem to do no right. Such vicious patterns bring me so close to hopelessness and envelope in me in such a deep depression that not only can I not hardly breathe, but I do not want to breathe any longer.
As a Catholic I profess that my suffering is meaningful; that it is not in vain. Days like today make me question this though. I suffer so deeply without reprieve with nothing to show for it on the outside. Nobody outside of me can see (nor understand) that my poor performance is because I am fighting a war with my own mind just to keep living. Even if they could see, I feel there would be no sympathy.
All I really want is somebody or something to take this cross away from me forever.